The best gift of 2019

It’s that time of year.

Haha- nope, not Christmas. No- this is even better!

Tis’ the very END of the holiday season!!

Hahahahaha hahahahaha!

Thank you baby Jesus! And everything Holy.

Fuck.

Seems awful to say but the year end holiday hustle is not the most joyous time of the year. Most people experience a lot of stress this time of year… Financial, relationship, family….

For me, holidays usually mean a whole new level of anxiety. One where Xanax is required to survive. However, the holidays this year came with the development of something new. Something that should have been put into place years ago but never was. Something that gives power back to me, not removes it.

This year, I was given the gift of setting boundaries. Boundaries that my husband helped set, and then helped me hold onto, despite pressure to ‘just get over it’…

It’s most unfortunate that these boundaries were absolutely necessary to protect me from people that aren’t on my team. These people quit cheering for me a long time ago, despite me cheering for them.

Setting boundaries didn’t come with out tears. A WHOLE lot of fucking tears. A lot of anger and pain. Panic attacks. CONFUSION. More panic attacks. Then, sadness. Oh, Extreme sadness. How, how do people that have been in my life for over 30 years just stop existing in my world? How am I supposed to be okay with that…????? How do I just stop, caring?

I’ll tell you… Every time I feel my heart soften, I will remember the hate slung against me and I will remember those days of raw pain. My heart breaking as I removed these people from my life. It’s not my responsibility to fix anything. I don’t have to do anything but hold to my boundaries… they’re there to protect me from people no longer here to cheer for me. I no longer have to try explain myself.

How…freeing.

#noproofneededanymore #itsanintuition #empathOUT #superoverit

Set boundaries.

Be okay with others not knowing your side of the story.

It’s okay. The world doesn’t end when you set boundaries. I promise. ♥️

Xx

LS

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