Fuck it. I’m done. Melt down. Can’t stop crying. I just Feel …. really ….fucking pissed. so mad I can’t even see strait.
I’ve sacrificed everything to live. To be okay. To find a comfortable space to exist in the chaos that is me. Only to find that I have lost so much hair, I now have a visible bald spot- in the middle of my head, near the front.
I just can’t. I tried to keep it together when I found it but I couldn’t hide my shock. My anger.
I’m not stupid enough to play the- what next???-game. I know thats never a game I’m ready to play.
This may seem insignificant to some but I love my hair. It was always and has always felt like a huge part of me.
I called the doctor today and according to them, my thyroid is perfect. All my bloodwork looks- and I quote- ‘amazing’. Fuck. Me.
I’m tired of being sick. I don’t want to lose my hair. I do not want to give one more single ounce of energy to being SICK. But alas, it is not to be. I hope, beyond all hope, that I find the cause before I lose it all.
Stick a fork in me. I’m fucking done.