And just like that, with the click of a button on social media, I am “un-friended”. Not typically a big deal, ever. If you don’t want to be in my life then exit. Hell, who am I kidding, I’ve helped kick a shit ton of people out of my life these last couple years. Family or friends, blood or not… GTFO if you mean me harm or wish me ill.
We all have friends that circle our lives, they fall in and out, depending on a need or want- on either side. That is how friendship usually works. If you’re blessed or lucky, you’ll find people that only want the best for you and help you survive ‘life’ along the way.
It is always sad to look back and see a friend has faded away and into the memories of your past. That is typically when a person just gently fades out of your life. Those are the ones where you tell funny stories and then say… what ever happened to so and so…? Every one has warm memories and full hearts with these memories because they warm your soul.
Then you have the ones where you get into an argument. Something maybe is said or done and it hurts. There is maybe a blow up or something said/done that isn’t forgivable. Those alway hurt. Maybe you learn a valuable life lesson or discover you just don’t jive. Maybe it was alcohol or drugs? Either way, you always know why that person exited your life.
But the worst… losing someone you weren’t ready to lose. Someone that just walks out. No explanation. No opportunity to understand why. No reasons given or explained. The kind of loss where you figure it out on your own that they left. Because they never say a word. Those… those fucking hurt. The friends where miles were traveled together. Lots of tears. A lot of trust, acceptance and love. The friend you believed would love you to the end because its been that way so long now, why would it be anything different? And… you would have loved them to the end. They were yours and you were theirs.
That loss… it is just too much.
It is with great sadness that I acknowledge my circle is tighter now. I’ll survive but this one… it’ll always sting.