Blue October, Picking Up Pieces

It’s Sunday. 7 am. Been up for hours. My love got called into work so I helped bundled him up and get him gone. With a kiss, as always.

I start facebooking to see what’s up or what have I missed but the village was super quiet. I am in so many medical Facebook communities that it’s rare it is quiet!

Ok- bed, huge cup of coffee and music… maybe some more snoozing? One can hope, anyways.

Music. Yes, please. I dig into Blue October. I have always loved this band but after the birth of my daughter, I had such massive postpartum depression that their 2006 album, Foiled, was my go to. It spoke to me and I loved all of it.

I haven’t followed music like I used to so this morning was a rare gem. ♥️ I also rotated some laundry- I hope to actually fold and put it all away. I said ‘hope’.

I finally land on Picking Up Pieces, by Blue October.

Oh man. I’ve been crying ever since. It’s a good release and one I have needed for a couple weeks now but damn it.

I love this Version: Acoustic- Picking Up Pieces

No matter what you’re dealing with- mental health issues or medical issues. OR maybe, just maybe… Medical issues that cause mental health issues… ?

What.the.fuck.ever.it.is. ‘But, I still walk on.’

Here are the lyrics:

I really need to talk with you
I keep stepping on the vein
That keeps my lifeline flowing through
I wanna be your perfect stick of glue
But I don’t feel perfect at all
Sad and insecure flaw
I find it hard to hold conversation
I get sweaty sick and I wanna walk away
Its not you its strictly me in this situation
I’m wondering will it ever go away…just go away
Sometimes I feel like weeping
Awake and when I’m sleeping
Perfecting how to put a game face on
This puzzle I’ve been keeping
Has been in hiding creeping out the closet door
Spilling out onto the floor
How long will I be picking up pieces
How long will I be picking up my heart
I’ll be as honest as I feel
I’m getting more paranoid and I’m hearing things
And they never turn out real
It feels like my heart is made of pure steel
It’s just so heavy all the time
Yea I’m scared of death
And I’m scared of living
I gave up on the past cause it’s unforgiving
I misplaced my trust
I watched my word begin to rust
I’m a balloon about to bust
I need a place for reliving
But sometimes I feel like weeping
Awake and when I’m sleeping
Perfecting how to put a game face on
This puzzle I’ve been keeping
Has been in hiding creeping out the closet door
Spilling out onto the floor
How long will I be picking up pieces
How long will I be picking up my heart
How long (in another space and time)
Will I be picking up pieces in the corner of my mind
How long (its getting oh so hard to find)
Keep picking up pieces in the corner of my mind
But I still walk on

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