Happy Monday

For those of you that work, happy Monday. Be grateful for the job that pays your bills. Be thankful for the staff that love you and fight you when your wrong. The ones that still message you when you’re no longer their boss to tell you that they love you, value you and pray for you.

I have some crazy anxiety this morning that started when I left my house to head to my pelvic floor physical therapy appointment. It is July 30th and I am still unemployed. I lost my job on January 17th but the official date is February 21. I keep having shit pop up on my FB feed reminding me of all I’ve lost… because of a handful of lying bastards and a perfect storm of medical conditions topped off by my use of medical marijuana.

To say that I feel as if I am a loser is an understatement. I have lost three jobs or opportunities for work because of my medical marijuana use. I’ve tried everything within my power to avoid or beat the system and it just doesn’t stop haunting me… following me. At every turn, it’s there- slapping me in the face. The one thing that saved my life has ruined it. I lost my original job of 12 years because my snake boss sat me up. Said I used MMJ in my office- WTF!? Right… three months later I land a job at a competitor and I stupidly believed I could clean my urine to pass a drug test. I could not- I failed the drug test and lost another job. They have a zero tolerance, even for medical use. Then I land my dream interview doing something new and completely challenging for me (if you know how my brain works, it’s hard to find these things, career wise for me) and they have a letter I typed on a job forum outlining in detail, my MMJ use and why I use it- I can’t even remember if it said what happened to my long term job of 12 years or not. FUCK!ME!RUNNING!

I guess this panic attack- melt down has been coming for a long time. My poor pelvic floor physical therapist, good thing she loves me. ♥️ it’s gonna be a crazy session. I just can’t stop the tears. And that makes me mad.

I know everything happens for a reason but I just can’t see it now… #catchtwentytwo #damnedifIdoanddamnedifIdont

💛 #OldGirlintheEndoGame #suckitendo #endendo #endostrong #pudendalnervepain #endometriosis #pelvicfloordysfunction #interstitialcystitis #gastroparesis

#MMJpioneer #almostopiatefree #marijuanapatient #TeamHibner #TeamDsouza #refuseLupron

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s